At home sick in bed

Well, I would love to have some time off, but not at home sick, with a fever. I am better than I was yesterday, but still feel pretty crappy. I am bored!!! I have lots to do - as Christmas is in three days, but I just feel really bad when I get up. Jonny is here, so I don't have to worry about cooking - he and Paul will deal with that end. Bethany Kemp arrives tonight from Germany. She is our funny friend from Bethany College (no relation) and has spent the last two Christmases with us. She is with YWAM in Heirrenhut (SP???) Germany. She may also be bringing a friend. We won't know until Scott picks her up tonight at Birmingham airport. Bless her, she always flies into Birmingham airport, which is only about 20 minutes from our house.

I still have cookies that I want to bake and a couple more gifts to buy. Wahhh!!!
I really left buying gifts until the last minute this year - but we never know how much we have to spend until mid-December anyway. I really hope I feel better tomorrow. Right now my head hurts, my nose is all stuffy and I feel dizzy and clammy. Lovely. I really do not want the kids to get it. Christopher, my germ phobia child, is avoiding me, but Peter keeps coming in, jumping on the bed and asking me if I feel better yet. Bella, the wonder dog, has kept watch over me, no doubt ready to perform proper red cross maneuvers in cause I fall into a coma or start to seizure. I am sure she could run next door and get the doctor if I needed her to, Lassie style. I do rest easy knowing that we live next to the doctor's office and Dr. Whittaker would walk over if one of us was bad enough. Maybe.

Ok, I am going to go back to sleep or faint. Merry Christmas.

I feel guilty for not doing more with my photos as the window on my blog thingy tells me I should. I feel guilty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blah blah blah. Humbug.

Yeah, we have been busy, blah blah blah. But that is not why I have not been able to blog: Our laptop is on life support, any breath could be it's last, so we have assembled a desktop computer from all different parts from all different places and donors. Think Wall-e. But it works and I am back in the blog business.
All the news here is about the credit crunch, how it is effecting the "high street" ( main street) sales and how gloomy our future is. Zimbabwee is also in the news and they want that Robert Mumgabi (?) guy out. Gordon Brown (current unpopular prime minister) said that the british need a "can do" attitude to get through the financial crisis, and the local news mocked him for saying it. Poor guy. He does have a really scary Scottish accent. He should narrate Stephen King's books on tape.

We are doing well. Jonny is here for the holidays. We are warm, full and have friends and family that love us most of the time. God is good and His Son died for my sorry self. What more could I ask?

Eldest

Today I have to say goodbye to my eldest - Josh, aged 25. He is going back to Korea to work and be with his serious girlfriend, Jisook. He has agonized over the decision to go back so soon and not stay for the holidays. He and I have had several deep conversations about him leaving. I have cried privately and with him as I will miss him so much.
Each of my sons occupy a room in my heart. When one leaves, as Josh did for college six years ago, it is like the light in the room in my heart goes dim. They are still very much adored in my heart but now they are far away, living out their own lives and adventures. They are not a part of my daily mayhem and madness. I used to gaze at Josh's childhood pictures as I dusted them and say. "where are you now? What are you doing? I miss you." I broke down the first time Josh walked away from us in an airport on his way to school in Minnesota. I cried so hard it scared me. He was my first born, my baby boy that came with much celebration after two years of three miscarriages. I am very proud of the men that both he and Jonny have become - strong, hard-working, God-fearing. We can argue, cry and laugh (oh can we laugh!!) All my sons are my finest achievements of my time here on earth.
So, today, again, I have to watch Josh walk away from us in Heathrow airport. When will we see each other again? I am not sure. I know God will watch over him.

Poor coconut

When you go to buy shredded coconut at the store it is called, tragically, "desiccated coconut."
That's a little harsh, don't you think? We were discussing this at dinner and had to add some substitute words: decimated, decapitated, desecrated, devastated, and Josh's suggestion: defecated. None really add appeal to the poor coconut. I think they should go with a kinder and gentler adjective such as: flaked, which brings to mind happy snowflakes. I do notice on the bag that it is a product of a muslim nation. Maybe this is a sinister message to all infidels -" don't mess with us. See what we do to mere coconuts? No mercy!!!"

Or maybe not.
Poor coconut.

Cold nights

Long underwear - or thermal underpants, as they are called here - are most lovely. So are hot water bottles, and duvets. We live in a big wonky old house with three stories and we are really trying to keep heating bills down. It is heated by radiators which are heated with gas. Over the summer I collected used heaters for several rooms, we just turn them on when we go in the room, but that leaves the halls quite chilly. Our bedroom is especially cold. There is this old seventies style built in unit in the bay window and there must not be any insulation behind it because you can feel the cold air coming from both it and the window. Last winter we could see the wind moving the curtains through the cracks in the window casings. Brrrrr! I do have some material to make thicker curtains - but no time to make them! I want to get them done before it really gets cold. I do have this awesome little heater that warms the room up enough to fall asleep, but then you wake up and the room is really cold. That is why that morning cup of tea is so important.
The kids sleep in the attic and it can be very chilly also - but I got them all duvets for their beds and that really makes a difference.

One more thing - last night was Halloween and nobody goes trick or treating in Wythall. No one. On the news they said that more than 50% of parents in Britain were not letting their children trick or treat because it has just gotten too dangerous. The news also said to be very careful about opening your door to people. Crickey!!! Is it really that dangerous around here? It's too cold for danger. We should all stay inside, under covers, drinking tea and watching telly.

Sick Hubbie

Scott is all nauseous and achey (achie? achy?) , maybe running a fever. I am taking him home. We are at work, but he just cannot keep going. At first I thought it might be the curry I made last night - I swear the chicken was still good. But I don't think that funky curry would give him a fever.
The kids are at home, as it is still half term break. Tonight I am supposed to go eat dinner at the women's house and meet with one of my accountability partners. We are doing Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself bible study together - and it is great! I did it about six years (or more) ago, but it is all new for me. When I get home, we are going to watch Charlie Brown's Halloween - "It's the Great Pumpkin!" Yeah for Charlie Brown! A friend has it and is lending it to us - because they certainly do not have it here.

OXford

I sat across the table at the Noodle bar in Oxford, smiling at Peter and Christopher sharing a large bowl of chicken noodle, eating very deftly with chopsticks. We don't eat out much at all - maybe once every 4 - 6 months here. It is a big splurge as resturants are very hard on our budget, but this is a special occasion. Josh's girlfriend from Korea is here and this is her last day with us as she is going to visit friends in both Oxford and London for the remainder of her time in the UK. She spent nine months studying in Oxford last year and wanted to show us this city. We had never been here and we love it. It is an amazing city, with beautiful building and all sorts of interesting shops and people. I love walking through the colleges of Oxford University. This is definately a place we will visit again.

Is it menopause??

I wonder how God can use me sometimes. I know He can use the unwise and fools and that gives me hope - but honestly, most times I am just a cranky middle-aged fool with a big mouth.
Can I blame it on menopause??? I would like to, but because of knowing myself, I really cannot. If this is menopausal and one day I will emerge as a gentle, kind woman - Oh Lord! Hasten the day!!! Most days - barely concealed raving maniac woman is what you get.

So I got up this morning - Monday morning - early and raring to go! The kids are out of school for autumn half term break, so no lunchboxes to fill, no rushing off to school, just a good quiet time with God and into work early with lots of plans to get stuff done. It started out OK, but then this nice unsuspecting lady (who is most likely on the other nicer side of menopause) comes into my office - to help. She is visiting with her husband, who is helping with finances, and they sent her to my office so that I could find her something to do. She really was very nice - but at first, I totally misread the situation. I thought that everyone knew she was coming - including my husband - but forgot to tell me. Yeah, well, I showed her the phone system quickly and she answered some of the calls. I was just freaked out because I was trying to hurry and do what I had to get done for the day - garden invoices, doctor and dental appointments for the men, copies for the Tuesday bible studies - while trying to chat and be hospitable to this nice lady. I was weighing the pros and cons of starting her on making a new music book, but she was only going to be here today and tomorrow morning. It is hard to have someone start and then come behind them and sort out what they have done. I just fall back on my stinky mommy thinking and say "It will just be easier to do it myself."

So I come away with the thoughts - I am just the meanest woman in the world. I am an uptight, high strung type A hateful woman. How can anyone else love me AND how can the Ruler of the universe love me???? But then His Spirit whispers - " I do love you, I made you, I know you.
Repent and enjoy the fresh garment of justification that I have for you - right now. Slip it on and know that you are my dearly beloved daughter. Take a deep breath and go forward and sin no more. " Then I am sure He chuckles because I am like a defiant toddler - of course I will sin more - in a minute. Later on today. Certainly tomorrow. Next week is looking pretty good also.

Gracie Sharp

I am so glad to hear that Gracie is doing better. It was really scary to be reading about her way over here! I hope that she gets well very quickly.

Long time no blog

Yep, I have been busy. We hit September running and have not stopped, I think I have just adjusted. In early September my office mate, the lovely Fleur, was needed elsewhere so I have been alone, juggling the phone calls and my other office bits. So work is more intense and some days I work longer. I am still blessed with the ability to leave work around 12:30, but then I often run errands, such as go to the post office or bank for Betel.
On September 4th the boys went back to school. Everything was the same and familiar for Peter and Paul, but Christopher entered "lower" high school at Henley High. It has been a rough transition from his old primary school to a larger High school, with much more homework. He has been teased about being American and having red hair. So we have had to spend time getting him organized and helping him settle in.
On September 6th, Josh, my oldest son arrived from Korea. He immediately started an online course out of London and spends much of his time studying, as he intends to finish the course in half the recommended time. Just having another son in the house takes time, although we are enjoying him.
We also started our home bible studies every Tuesday night in September. We also started a new accountability program where we intentionally mentor two guys, a young mother and a family in our church. We are to try to spend at least an hour with them every two weeks. That does not sound like much, but with the travel time, it has added up. We are enjoying it immensely - especially the family. That includes Gina - an alcoholic who recently left the Betel women's house after spending 22 months there. She has rejoined her husband, Stuart, and their four children: Scott, 16; Tommy, 14; Danielle,13; and Charlie, 8. The family has had a very bumpy start to re-incorporating Gina back into family life and decisions, as well as adjusting to moving up here to Birmingham to live now. Their old hometown was just too toxic for Gina to go back to live, so last May, Stuart and the children moved here. But despite all their problems, they are doing well and we are enjoying getting to know them all better.

So there are my reasons, my excuses......did I mention we got a young dog? Not quite a puppy, but less than a year old, Bella (that was her name at the animal shelter) is a miniature Jack Russell terrier (terror!) mix. She is great, except when we take her for a walk. She thinks she can whoop up on any other dog she sees, as well as the goat down the road. We walk (or drag) her everyday, twice. Good exercise, I like it. I probably will not like it so much when winter sets in. But right now, the trees are gorgeous, the air is brisk and walking the dog is mostly a joy.

So, now that I have done new post, I consider myself back in the game. See ya next time.

Missing Daddy

H.J. Gulledge -"Jimmy" to my mom and their friends. Daddy to me. This week, five years ago was his last week on this earth. He was in a coma, so we couldn't speak. The last thing I spoke to him about was in the emergency room as he was having tests. The next day, he was gone - his mind was gone.
Yeah and I still really miss him. He was a grumpy old man and I loved him so much. He was a good daddy, one who would sit on the front porch with me when I was a moody teenager and ask "what's wrong," or "how are things going?" He would drive all the way home on a work day to take me out to lunch. Somehow, over the years, despite all my mistakes, he conveyed to me that I was the apple of his eye. He loved Scott like his own and was so good and encouraging to my sons.
Yet it was my dad's death that propelled us forward into missions. I could have never left him or my mom while he was still struggling with Alzheimer's. I just hope he is looking down and is proud of us. I got really lucky when they were handing out moms and dads. It took me a while to truly appreciate them, but they are golden.

Absolutely Soaking

I am resolved to walk as much as possible - for exercise and to save fuel. so I have been walking Peter to school, even in the rain. Yesterday I had a nice gentle rain that stopped by the time I got to his school and on the way home it stopped altogether and the sun came out. Lovely.

Today I started out from home in a fairly determined drizzle, but about half way there it started coming down harder. At Peter's school, just as he came out, it began to rain hard and hail. We only have one umbrella, since I cannot find our other two, but we both had on rain jackets with hoods. I really enjoyed walking in the rain, surrounded by joyful children, happy to be out of school, and happy to be running in the rain. This being England, I was certainly not the only one walking my kids home. We were splashed by cars going by on the big road and just soaked by the time we got to our house. It is about a 20 minute walk at a medium pace, but I can make it in 15 minutes if I need to. It sure did help the cup of tea taste really good when we got inside and changed.

So Tracy and Laura, get as much rain stuff as you can. You will use it. I am hoping to get a pair of waterproof pants soon. And get lots of boots - all kinds of comfortable boots. You will wear them from September to June.

Groovy hair, after all....

Oh yeah, my hair was perfect for Spain!!! Just wash and go. I took my dryer and never used it. I swam every day with the boys. Loved it. It is growing. But, horrors, my friend - Lisa - who cuts it is going to India to work with the orphans for four months. I will have plenty of time to let it grow!

Blessings

We got back from our annual WEC/Betel conference in Spain this past Saturday. It was our second year to go, so this time we knew most of the people and knew what to expect. We stay at Betania, a Betel owned conference center that is mostly like a camp. We sleep in rooms crammed with bunk beds. The boys all sleep together in a big room that has 23 bunk beds. It is like a big sleep over for the week. We hardly see them as they play with their friends from Italy, Czech Republic and Spain. There is no a/c, and even though it is hot during the afternoon, it cools down around 10:00 p.m. My favorite part is hearing each center report on how they have done the previous year. We hear story after story of God's provision as our centers grow and expand. India has spun off into a center in Mongolia which is doing well. India also has two houses for orphans now. Germany started a new center in Berlin and was given a house to open a women's house. Cool stuff.

We have been blessed this week with a new car. A Toyota van - seats 8 - just in time to pick up Josh as he is arriving from Seoul to spend the next six months with us. So now we have room all six of us, plus two. We can give Brian ( our Scottish guy who lives with us and cannot drive) rides without breaking the law. Yea! The van was donated to be used in Betel. God is so kind to us.

Short hair, peanut butter and why do people leave?

I succumbed and asked Lisa to cut my hair short. Shorter than I have had in over four years. I was thinking how easy it would be to care for, how I would look more "Up-to-date" (groovy) and how I could make it funky with gel or wax. But now that I have done it, I am afraid - that I look like a man, or my mom, or just lots less feminine. I think I will like it in two weeks. Just call me Dan.
A sign that we have been in England a long time is that my children are now eating English peanut butter and liking it. English peanut butter is less smooth and sweet than say, Jiff, or even Walmart's Great Value brand. I used to either ask visitors from the US to bring us a big jar of Jiff or I bought some at Aldi's that was kind of close to the American kind. But now they are not even asking for American peanut butter, they are just eating the Sainsbury's store brand as if that is all they have ever known. Also, all of them drink their hot tea with milk. What's next?
Haggis? Steak and kidney pie? Black pudding?
Life in Betel means that there are seasons of people coming and people leaving. Lately, people are leaving the program for some sad reasons. One just said that she wanted the things of the world more than the things of God. One stole some money. Some just want to get high or drunk again. It is always hard when people leave. You laugh with them, you eat meals with them, you pray with them, and then one day, they just walk out the door. Most of the time, I don't get to say goodbye. That makes me sad. Our director wisely says that we must love the ones that are with us, the ones that God has given us for this moment.

My hair is still short. I'm going to go have a cup of tea.

Daisy Boo

I know that if there is ever a drought in England, all we will have to do to call down rain is hang clothes out on the line to dry and start our little charcoal grill. Works every time.

Otherwise, we did have a nice day. We were a particularly idyllic and wholesome looking family as we cycled to the local canal, walked along the side and picked blackberries. At one junction we came up at a bridge, at a country pub where people were sitting and walking around with their pints of ale. I spoke with one man who was standing at the bridge. He had not heard of any other type of missionaries other than Mormon. I explained that we were not Mormons, we were Presbyterians. He seemed to accept that well. He went on to tell me that he did not believe in the trinity. It was about this time I noticed that he was a little sloshed. So I decided to go find the kids. He cheered me on as I left in a very friendly manner. I hope he did not fall into the canal after we left.

But now we are home and because of the abundance of water that insists on falling from the sky, (because we lit the grill) we have to pan fry our pork chops. Pete (big Pete, not my Peter) is roasting peppers and chicken in the oven and they smell really good. As he says, " It's the business!" We are also debating the viability of a year old Christmas pudding that he found in the back of the lower cabinet in our kitchen. Bonn Appetit!

Sidenote: did you know that one of Jamie Oliver's daughter's name is Daisy Boo? I love it. He should have lived in Alabama!!

Visas

We got our visas!!!! Wow. We went away for the weekend to a Betel house in Nottingham and when we came back on Sunday evening - there was the package. sitting on the table in the hall, waiting for us. Three more years - big wow. We are happy and releived and a little stunned. Stunned, because, we feel that this is still God's will for us. So far from home, family and friends.

But we are relieved that things will go on - like the boys schooling. This will be the first year in four years that Paul will go to the same school two years in a row. From the time he was 10 until now he has gone to a different school each year. First year: Minnesota; next year: Philadelphia; third year: Alvechurch middle school; fourth year: Henley High and now he is returning to Henley High. He will be able to complete Henley High as long as we don't do something stupid to get us kicked out to the country. Christopher will start with him in Henley High this year. Can you say two train fares??? Peter will return to his primary school, for the first time, without Christopher. Now I have to dash around and finish buying all the bits that they need for school. It is not a matter of school supplies - those are mostly provided by the schools. It is all the specific stuff you have to have for their uniforms. Blazers with school crests, ties, the proper shoes, and two full P.E. outfits ( a winter one and summer one). The P.E. shirts must be bought from the school with the school logo embrodiered on front. I even have to buy Henley-in-Arden High school gym socks!!!! Crazy eh?

But, this is what we have prayed for - that God would either keep us here or send us elsewhere. So here we stay. The guys in the house were pleased - chuffed - as they say here. Things are going well in our house. The guys are getting along and dare I say it ---- maturing!
Ken is doing really well. We are pleased (chuffed) at how well he is doing. Praise God because I don't want to have to choke any of them.

So, wow. I am going to go have a cup of tea and watch the rain.

Pray for our UK visa renewal

Please pray for our visa renewal to go smoothly and quickly. We are due to go to Spain for the annual WEC-USA conference at the end of August and need our passports to travel. When I called this morning to check on the progress I was told that they had not even started to process it yet. Waaahhh! We sent it in a month ago. So now we are starting to really call in prayer.
Thanks.

2 Year Anniversary

Two years ago we stumbled off a plane at Heathrow airport. We had flown overnight from Newark, New Jersey and we were tired, hungry, scared and excited. We were finally here, after all the prayer, worry, packing, talking, and support raising. After a three hour drive to Dudley borough, Birmingham, we entered the small upstairs flat that we had only seen for ten minutes back in January 2006. It had been cleaned and the kitchen painted; but it still looked very dreary to me. I was stressed out at all we had to do to make it livable. We were provided a box of some food staples, but I needed to feed three hungry, tired boys. I also needed to stay cheerful and upbeat about this new strange place, even though I was scared. We bought a few things from the Aldi's just down the street and I made dinner. That night we went to sleep with no pillows and very few covers on our beds. We had only brought what we thought would get us by, until our other things would be shipped over in two months. It was much cooler here - shockingly cold at night for August. Somewhere in the middle of the night Paul and I woke up. We sat in shock and talked for a while about how different everything was. The next morning we woke and started sorting things out.
I soon realized that all my props were very far away - my family, my friends, my home culture.
Just because I stepped off a plane as a missionary did not mean that I was accepted by those we had come to serve. Our directors were out of the country for the next month (in the US!) and the other workers were very busy. I was lonely, disoriented, scared of the people all around us, and worried that I maybe had gotten it all horribly wrong - that God never called us to this place, it was just my ego talking. That God would not provide for our needs - we were idiots to have sold all we had to come here.........

Now we are living very close to the main center, in a wonderful house. We have friends, our sons have friends, we feel very accepted and knit into the Betel community and church. God is always faithful and provides not only our needs but our wants. We lack nothing. It has been very hard, this moving across the ocean. Very amazing and humbling to see God's hand working in our hearts, individually and as a family. Scott and I have argued and talked about everything from money to our spiritual life, and we are now closer than we have ever been. It has been worth it.
Now, the question is - do we get to stay? Will our visa extension go through? Or will we be denied? We are about half way through the normal waiting time, we have three more weeks to go. We shall see.............................

Summertime, and the living is easy....

Yep, if it looks like summer, smells like summer and feels like summer, well, hey --- it must be summer. The boys got out of school a week ago and on the first Monday of their summer holiday, the weather turned nice. Inconceivable! Warm and sunny. Mid-seventies. Most lovely.
So we have been riding our bicycles to the park, where I nap and read on a blanket, while they meet friends and run around like the monkeys that they are. Pete, our housemate, pulled out three tents that they had saved in donated items to Betel, and he, Scott and the boys put up two.
The next two nights were spent sleeping in the back garden in said tents. They have been delighted to have them up and have been spending time there, playing and reading. Yes, when the weather gets sorted out here and it actually feels somewhat summer-like, this is an idyllic place to be.
We have this rickety grill, with the grilling area about the size of a big pizza pan. And we just got charcoal bricketts and pork ribs in food donations, together on the same day. Must be a sign from God that grilling BBQ ribs must commence. We got tons of tins of baked beans - as beans are truly an English comfort food. Sounds like a meal!! Paul is praying for a chicken (or two) so I can make one of his favorite foods - homemade chicken turnovers. I make a whole bunch and put them in the freezer, and they are just there, like gold, waiting to be eaten. For those who do not know, we get a whole lot of our groceries from donated food from a huge grocery chain store called Sainsbury's. The fruit and veg is usually wonderful. And it makes planning a meal very exciting at times - you never know what you are going to get. For the past couple of weeks, meat has been scarce, so we have been going vegetarian, except for fish. Scott and I like fish, but the kids are more wary and will not eat most of it. All this to say, the pork ribs are a big treat- and some chicken would be too. God is great, He will provide.

As I know, many of you are dying from the heat and humidity in Alabama, and I am so sorry. This respite from the usual gloom and rain feels very hard won and precious. And don't feel envious.......it won't last. I will be back to moaning soon enough!!!

Critters

Last week end we found lice in Peter's and Christopher's hair. I promise you, I have never found or dealt with lice in my long life, but this explains all the scratching. Ick, big Ick, ick ick ick!!
So Scott got the poison shampoo and I slathered it on their monkey heads, all the while itching myself. Even though I read that you don't have to wash everything, I did.

So it seems to have worked. We go through each other's hair like a bunch of hungry primates. Every time they scratch we have another little look. I just know that the lice are lurking in our couches and carpet, waiting for an unsuspecting head (or hairy toe / leg) to jump on and start a new colony.

The cat has fleas.
Sigh.

Birthday gifts.

Here are my three favorite birthday gifts - Peter gave me a "Hello Kitty" charm, to match my other "Hello Kitty" pirate-y school girl charm. Christopher gave me two, count 'em, two shiny rocks, and the guys in the furniture restoration shed made me a card out of wood.

Some photos -

Here are some pics that I have been wanting to share of people that I work with here at Betel.


This is Phil and Fleur. They were married this
past April. Both came into the program as drug addicts and worked their way up to leaders in their houses. Fleur is my current office mate.
They live on site in a flat at Windmill House.

This is Angela, Anthony and Angela's daughter Bethany. They married in May and now live in Derby ( about an hour north of us) and Anthony is a house leader at the Betel center there.

Angela worked with me in the reception office for about six months before her wedding. I really miss her now that she has moved to Derby, but she is very happy up there, so I shouldn't moan.

This is Beth and Dave. They were married in Betel a year and half ago. Beth is a missionary from Virginia and Dave was a drug addict here at Betel. They live in a flat on site at Windmill and Beth is one of the director's assistants. She is one of my accountability partners and listens to me moan and groan more than she should. She is also a very devoted mom to one of our kittens.

Some things are worst than getting wet...

Yep, it's still raining and they are forecasting rain through the rest of the week. So normally I just rush through the rain and spend my time indoors reading, sewing, emailing. But now I have been building up my strength riding my bicycle to Windmill house and back and I don't want to lose any ground in my campaign to fitness. It is 2.2 miles one way and it was getting easier every time I did it. But I am not so zealous that I want to ride in the pouring rain, but I do want to ride! I am not trying to lose weight, but am exercising to reduce stress, sleep well and feel happier. I also am losing the lovely cottage-cheese cellulite on my nether regions. At my age, (and I plan to start using that phrase - ALOT!) (Jonny says that 51 is the new 40) losing cellulite off of any part of the body is a great achievement! So if it keeps raining I am going to be irritable, sleep deprived and doughy. Not really a good missionary combination - but really good for a legalistic, unbending, religious attitude. Yep, pray for a little break in the rain.

5th of July

Yeah, we celebrated and made a spectacle of ourselves and it was good. The weather : it rained.
No surprise there. Rained and rained and rained. But Scott grilled those burgers and hot dogs and I baked those beans and it was good.
We could not find any fireworks anywhere. Not even a pack of sparklers for the kids. Everyone said that they do not start selling them until October. Sigh. But we has a bag of poppers left over from New Years Eve and we popped them all - in the dining room.
Then we tried really hard to shove all the mentos into the diet colas, but I did not realize that you had to have a test tube or similar object to really get them in fast and all at once. The guys did their best, bless 'em, and we did acheive a height of about 10 ten, once.

We had three American guys - all volunteering for various amounts of time. One guy, Andy, is a WEC missionary kid, and really has only lived in the US for the past two years. He was raised in Turkey and South east Asia. We also had Chelsea, an young American women, who has been with Betel for six months and flies home to Pennslyvania on Tuesday. The rest of our group was made up of four rowdy Scots and two Brits and Beth. I work with Beth, she is from Virginia and is married to one of the Brits. She brought her cat over - Festus - who is the brother to my cat - Lulubelle, and we also celebrated their birthdays. The cats. Not Beths or anyone else. We had a cat birthday cake and presents: Salmon treats, yummmmmm.

The kids played Apples to Apples with the guests which ended in a shouting match, but it usually does. Because of the rain, we did not make too much noise and no police were called to the scene. Darn. But we had fun and that was good.

We

The 4th

So today is the actual 4th of July and I am truly annoying my office mate - Fleur - and anyone who walks in - by playing patriotic music. Unashamed. I have tears in my eyes. I will miss the fireworks mostly - sycronized to Lee Greenwood. I will miss the smell of ribs on the grill and the heat. Yes, even the heat.
Well, I need to go have a cup of tea.

Turning 50, then 51

Last year I turned fifty, and I cried for three days. Not all of it is because of the age thing, part was because my eldest - Josh - left England on my birthday on his way to a new adventure in Seoul, Korea. I hate it when family leaves. When Josh left at 18, to go to Minnesota to college, I wept like a baby at the airport and then truly mourned for about two months. He was the first to leave home, and it devastated me.
So part of my crying was because Josh left - and it got all hectic toward the end. We were planning on going out to lunch, just him and I and having one last long conversation. But it didn't happen like that and the next thing I know is that he is out the door going to Heathrow.
The other part why I cried - I am not so sure. I felt alone, abandoned and worthless. I felt like everyone in the world had a place but me. No one could console me, not the kids nor Scott. I cried through the night in my favorite place to cry - the bathtub. I did not sleep and called in sick on Monday. Finally, I knew I had to go to work on Tuesday, but could not stop crying in the car - poor Scott. I could not put words to my sorrow, but everything that I had held in for the last couple of years came out. When we got to work, I went and found our director - Mary Alice. I was going to tell her that I didn't think I could work that day either, but she sat me down to talk. It all came out and probably did not make much sense, but her first comment was - "we have been wondering when you would crack" or something to that effect. She said that her first couple of years as a missionary in Spain were very hard and that she would go on crying jags for days also. She talked me through it and out the other end and I was much better.
Anyway, I turn 51 next week. I think I will do better because Josh is not leaving, he is coming in September. I have just had a wonderful time in Alabama and my luv tank is fairly full. I just want you wonderful girlfriends out there to know I love you, I love your children and even your pets ( Kathi Millsaps dog: Smokey). You give so much more than you know. I think I am going to start crying..... but it's good this time.

My mom, 4th of July and meat

For everyone that asked, it was great having my mom over here and it broke my heart to let her go. She did great on the plane over and was quite a trooper with all the walking we did here. She loved fish & chips, the Birmingham rag market ( an indoor textile market) and taking pictures of the countryside. She was less enthused about the London tube - the subway - which was packed when we were on it. We did the tourist thing and took one of those tours on a double decker bus with a live commentator around London. Everyone in Betel loved her and gave her lots of hugs and those double cheek kisses where you blow kisses in the air while pressing your cheek against the other person's cheek. She thought that was funny. She is supposed to come back next year with my brother and sister-in-law again.

4th of July. They don't do it here. Some of them are downright snotty about it. We have to work. However, that will not stop all of us Americans working in Betel in Birmingham from congregating on the 5th. We will grill hot dogs and burgers and sing patriotic songs very loudly.
In lieu of fireworks, which are not on sale here at this time of year, we will drop mentos into bottles of diet cola and watch them spew, hopefully we can synchronize them with the song "I'm proud to be an American"! Please pray that our neighbors will not call the police.

Meat, glorious meat!!!! We have had very little meat for the last couple of weeks in donations. So we have been going mostly vegetarian, which is good for us. Oh, but tonight, Scott brought home chicken, bacon and chicken tenders. Praise God! There is also lots of lovely strawberries and a melon that is so good that you will go home and slap yo mama!!

Honey

I am feeling very emotional tonight as I have just gotten home from London where I left my mom, brother and sister-in-law. They fly back to Alabama tomorrow.

I feel bereaved to leave them. I have just ended a three week course of home, family and friends, starting with us spending two weeks in Alabama and then having my mom, brother and sister-in-law over for ten days. So I ask, why am I here, across the ocean, in this cold rainy land?

Have you ever had time to watch honey as it poured slowly from the squeezy honey-bear bottle?
Have you stopped, like a child, and been mesmerized by the thick, rich golden liquid as it lands, folding over each layer? That is what God's rich mercy and love feels like to me. Despite my unloveliness, He keeps pouring his love over me, layer after layer, covering me with blessing and affection. I am unloving, but I know Who love is...........................

So today, as my mom and I arrived at the Betel Center in North London, we were just going to pop in for a moment to use the toilet before we left the car and headed off for the tube station.
I walked in the dining room and saw a new guy sweeping the floor. Really, just a bag of bones in a wool sweater. I asked him his name - Lee. He said that he had been in Betel before a couple of years ago, stayed for eight months - that he got strong and put on weight back then. I asked how he was doing. He said that he was really having a hard time at it, he hadn't slept in 10 days. Heroin addict. Very skinny when they come in and they don't sleep for weeks. I told him that he was doing one of the hardest things that he will ever try to do. And that it is worth it, so worth it. I looked at him and my heart opened up and I wanted to take out my spirit, my soul and turn it inside out to show him the changes, the work God has patiently done in my life. I wanted him to see the goodness, the mercy, the grace, the physical blessings that God has poured on my life like golden honey. I wanted to grab him and hug his painfully thin frame and transfer love into his brain and heart, but I knew that if I did anything like that I would scare the daylights out of him and he would probably run screaming out the door and straight into the arms of the drug dealers waiting in the park across the street.

But that is why I am here, to share the honey. I didn't make it, buy it, earn it. But it's really great stuff.

..One more day at home

As I wind up another day here, surrounded by friends and family, full of good food, enjoying brilliant sunshine by the pool, I don't want to go back. Why would I want to leave this place that has been my home 46 years out of 50? Why would I pull and stretch the fabric of my support systems that keep me feeling so accepted?
But in the past four years God has exploded my ideas of what my relationship to Him and to others should be, would be. He has thrown open wide new doors in new places. The fabric of my life is richer, more diverse and deeper than before. Now I know people who live and move all over the world. I live and battle with a different culture - not better, not worse (most days) and it fulfills my spirit like I never could imagine. I love those guys - Betel men and women; it is where my passion and compassion lock arms and come alive. Relationship there both hurts and fills me with unspeakable joy. It is a huge huge privilege to see lives changed and saved, reconciled and filled.

Thank you church, thank you friends, thank you family for the support that keeps us there. And thank you for the support that brought me home for this wonderful visit.

Now in the spirit of making lists, here is my list of yummy things I have so enjoyed eating while here -

• BBQ sandwiches
• Turnip greens
• Fried okra and fried green tomatoes
• fresh black eye peas
• fresh corn
• ice cold seedless watermelon
• cornbread
• southern caviar
• fudge pie
• grilled chicken, grilled kielbasa, grilled steak
• fried chicken tender salad
• Jimmy Dean sausage and biscuits
• American bacon
• slushies
• a sonic cheeseburger with tater tots
• buckets of sweet tea with lots of lemon

Poolhouse and placentas

Here I am, by God's generosity and grace, in the Clayton's pool house, enjoying family, friends and sitting in the Alabama sun. The first morning after we arrived I woke early and went outside to have a good cry. Alabama is my home, it is in my blood and being out of it has been hard. Birmingham, England is a very different culture and climate, both much cooler than I am used to. Working our way into a well established team, and finding some support systems in Betel was harder work than I bargained for. We were initially met with suspicion as two other families before us did not work out. We were told to come as learners, to be willing to humble ourselves in the work. We did not come in as glorious life giving super missionaries - as I saw myself in my missionary fantasies. But God is good, we have survived the first couple of years and have made many friends. Our directors trust us and show their love to us in many ways - we are very very blessed to work and learn from them. I have the start of a support system - thanks to Beth, Brenda, Lisa, Angela, Fleur and Roz. We are working on staying accountable to each other in all things - emotional and spiritual.

The thing that strikes me most, being home, is not how much choice I have at Walmart or how many fast food places there are around here. It is not the heat, humidity or the intensity of the sun. It is the depth, richness and availability of loving, giving women in my church. I once saw a doctor hold up a placenta after the birth of one of my sons. He showed it to us with awe as it had been the lifeline for my child as he grew - full of rich blood, oxygen, and nutrients. That is what the women of Community Presbyterian remind me of - life-giving, loving nourishment for the spirit. Thank you all, I love each of you!!! You have now idea how good you look to me.

Another lovely day

Glory to God, we have had three truly lovely days in a row. Low-60's with sunshine. Spring has come to our part of England. I did not even wear a coat while walking the kids home from school!!!
We came home, made smoothies and sat out in our ill-kept back garden soaking the amazing rays.
We threw tennis balls for the cat to chase and examined the hole in our compost box (Pete thinks it was made by rats).
Since the garbage man (rubbish lorry) only comes every two weeks here, we have to recycle like maniacs and we also found two big compost boxes at the end of our garden, which we use as well.
Yesterday I threw a large chunk of hardened french bread in one and the next morning we watched as a huge raven carried into the middle of the garden and tore into it. We believe that we also have hedgehogs in our hedges (no surprise that the hedges are where they live) and have talked about setting out bowls of milk to entice them out onto the lawn. Pete (big Pete - guy who lives with us) is a photographer and wants to entice all manner of wildlife into our yard so he can get pictures. If he gets a picture of a hedgehog, I will pass it all around.

But now I have to go cook dinner and then be exiled to bridesmaid dress slavery. One more to alter and then I am done.......for about a week.
I hope you are all having a lovely day.

We are actually having a lovely day here. Low sixties, blue sky, sunshine. FINALLY!!!!! It is supposed to get up to 16 celsius this weekend which is something like 65 or so. Loving it.
The long days have started. It doesn't get dark until 8:30 - 9:00. The days will keep lengthening until it is still light until 10:00 - 10:30 at night and the sun comes up at 4:30. It is crazy and I like it. Bring on more light and more sun!!!

Snow and List

We woke up this morning to about 2-3 inches of snow. It is very pretty. Surprisingly, it does not snow very much in England; about as much as it snows in Alabama. And people react to it about like people in Alabama. Everything stops. School is out. Nice. It does snow quite frequently in Scotland. Northern Scotland is about like living in Minnesota - lots of white stuff from November to May. But now the sun is out, the roads are clear and we are going to church.

Everyone seems to put lists on their blogs. My brain seldom works in a list mode. But I was thinking of what makes me laugh here - that is what I would be thinking of.........
So here is my partial list, partial, because many things make me laugh - and it is not English exclusive:

1. My favorite most recent movie: King of California
2. My favorite English comedian at this time : Bill Bailey (check out his "love song" on youtube.)
3. My favorite American comedian at this time : Jim Gaffegan (sp?)
4. My favorite kiddie joke punch line : "thunderwear!"
5. I laugh every time Christopher does his lizard impression.
6. My Scottish friend, Lisa, says "Pantaloon's!!" every time she is annoyed.
7. I silently laugh when the English rant and rave about finding dog poo on the sidewalk or street, but say nothing when horses leave huge poos in the same places.
   
8. I think our postman is funny.
   
9. Nathan (our young office Brit) really thinks he is Jack Bauer from "24."
10. My husband still makes me laugh at really silly things.
    

Lambs

I do miss a warm Alabama spring. I miss dogwood trees, croaking frogs and incredibly loud crickets. I miss April days in the 70's. But, England does have it's charms. The fields are bright green and speckled with all kinds of flowers. The trees and hedgerows are budding. And then there are the lambs.......I love the lambs. Today, driving to work, I saw four little lambs frolicking by the fence. They are so cute and lamby. They really run around, chase each other and jump in the air. Their faces are either white, black or speckled. I like the black faced ones best. You can also hear their sweet high pitched bleating. Too cute.

Sheila

This is something that cracks me up. Here the guys call women Sheila's or Bridgette's. As in your girlfriend would be your "Sheila." And they also use sheila to say something is girly - as in "awww, that's sheila stuff" or " thats awful sheila". I am sure that this is probably Brummy street talk and you would not hear it in London or somewhere posh.

Goofy me

I want to re-enter the land of blog. In a fit of goofyness I forgot my password and which email address I was using to sign in. But after much investigation, and some really hard thinkin' I got it.

Wow, it's good to be back.

Kettles. That is what I have been thinking about. Electric kettles and how much time I stand around waiting for them to boil. Back in my old Alabama life, I don't think I had ever seen an electric kettle. Scott and I first saw one in the dorms at Bethany college. We were amazed, much to our floor mates amusement. As soon as we got to England we got one. Everyone has one, it is how you make your cups of tea. At windmill house, where we work, there is a "tea room" on every floor. Making a cup of tea for someone is just what you do. Our Scottish friend, Brian, is always asking if he can make us a "wee brew." If someone is your friend, you remember how they like their tea.
There is kettle etiquette. Of course, like good Brits, you queue up for you teas if there is a line.
No queue jumping! And if you use the last bit of hot water, you go fill it, with COLD water. Never hot water, because that water has sat in the pipes heating the house. And try not to get nasty bits in the sugar bowl.
Then there is the way you make your tea. Some swear by putting the milk in first with the tea bag and let it sit for the minute that it takes to heat the water. They say that it tastes less bitter. And don't skimp on the milk. And the thicker the milk the better. They love heavy cream in their tea, but don't do it too often because that would be too much of a treat.

Ok, that is all I have to say on kettles and tea. Mine is ready.