Why, after all this time, do I continue to come up with ideas and then try to steer everyone involved in that direction. Even when people are warning me. Even when I have doubts. I am a risk taker. I like change. I get bored easily. I hate being hemmed in. I like to steer.
The best learning experience God ever gave me was to hem me in for eight years. I had to deal with it. I had to seek Him and trust that He had not forgotten me. I had to trust His timing. I was bored at times. I was restless. I became self-righteous and hurt others. I was humbled. Pride took a fall and I saw God's hand at work.
I scream inside when I want something and it is not easily in my grasp. This is usually a good thing - even godly - but the course that I think I should be cruising on veers off into a different direction. No one buys my rationalizations or reasons that I am trying to use.
God is good that way - cutting through (my crap) my independent desires and showing me that He has a plan. I know if I drop my plans and look to Him to fulfill me that He will not disappoint. Pray that I will look to Him for His ways and His timing, not mine!!!!!!
1 comment:
How I relate to your plead and to your personality... and how God uses women like you to extend the kingdom. I will pray for you...for both of us.
May the King continue blessing you, your family and your work!
Maribel Aviles
Orlando, Fl
Missionary at heart, future worker in the field, in Jesus name.
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