Why, after all this time, do I continue to come up with ideas and then try to steer everyone involved in that direction. Even when people are warning me. Even when I have doubts. I am a risk taker. I like change. I get bored easily. I hate being hemmed in. I like to steer.
The best learning experience God ever gave me was to hem me in for eight years. I had to deal with it. I had to seek Him and trust that He had not forgotten me. I had to trust His timing. I was bored at times. I was restless. I became self-righteous and hurt others. I was humbled. Pride took a fall and I saw God's hand at work.
I scream inside when I want something and it is not easily in my grasp. This is usually a good thing - even godly - but the course that I think I should be cruising on veers off into a different direction. No one buys my rationalizations or reasons that I am trying to use.
God is good that way - cutting through (my crap) my independent desires and showing me that He has a plan. I know if I drop my plans and look to Him to fulfill me that He will not disappoint. Pray that I will look to Him for His ways and His timing, not mine!!!!!!
