Less expectations in the material world, more expectations in the spiritual world.
This is what it is like being a missionary.
I put less and less hope in what is material, what my hands can produce or secure, and more hope in what God will provide, trusting in His good Heart.
Very, very, achingly slowly, I am learning to do this. He is faithful, patient and kind to teach and provide, I am slow and dull. But this is one of the things I wanted to learn.
Spiritually, he is open cages and taking down walls in my heart, even though I try to crawl back into my cages at times. He is cutting away, pruning the pride, greed, selfishness and anger that infects my heart and spirit. Living in community, preparing to take two more men into our own house, is a huge challenge for me - the only woman in the group. Right now we have four sons, and Ken, who was in the Betel program, living with us. In two weeks, Brian and Pete will be added. They are both long term residents with Betel, who want to move out of the dorms, but want a place with accountability. I have to prepare my heart to welcome them, to not take offense at their personality quirks. I know that God is stretching my heart in all this. That is where I want to be : pressing in, stretched out of my comfort zone.